Nose Candy for the kids

"Its sNOt What You Think," reads the tagline -- but Im pretty sure I'm pickin' up what they're puttin' down. And as far as I'm concerned, it is, in theory, the best candy I've seen on the market since I was of age (candy-eating age, that is). Which means, of course I had to buy it. In regards to flavor, I can't say it was exactly worth the purchase: if they were trying to capture the essence of mucus in a sugar-based syrup, I think they succeeded. On entertainment value alone, it is, well, priceless.



As you can see, there are two black straps which are for appropriately affixing your Hose Nose to your face (the straps are adjustable, like bras, to fit over any schnozz). Then, once your new plastic-warted orange nose is in place, you twist the snot cap off the nostril area. From there, you're ready to enjoy all the leaky goo that drips down to your ready and waiting tongue.

Brilliant, I say: 5 stars on concept, 1 star on taste (Sorry Sniffles, but how hard can it be to make sugar goo taste good?) 1 star on mechanics, as it appears my leaky nose was a little overactive and, while i wasn't looking, left a nice gooey surprise on my dress to discover later. Let me tell you -- quite the adhesive snot we have on our hands.*


Who gets to write the tag lines for this stuff?? Leaky Nose makers, if you're reading this, hit me up. And get your tissues ready, because my snot puns will blow you away.

But seriously, bless you, thank you, and Gesundheit to you for creating this product. I can't wait to see what you might think up next. (but here's a start: Pickable Scabs with an oozing Cherry-flavored center)



** includes other unsuspecting extremities -- legs, clothing, and midgets standing below you.



SIDENOTE: Just for kicks, here's a look at the life-sized Marshmallow hamburger that also struck my fancy at the Chevron checkout counter. It comes complete with mallow cheese and sesame seed icing on top. I'd compare it to a 1/4 lb. burger, so maybe if there are some mallow fries out there (I feel like I've seen them) you could get that side and a Coke and make a nice "diabetes-meets-Disney" Happy meal. And don't think I would forget including a toy..... But believe me, its'not what you think.