I know this is probably just a ranting pot calling a kettle black, but, in any case, I have to throw it out there:
What's up with dudes and unrelenting sarcasm?
The more I hear people rely on it to be funny, the more I realize it's like the butt-ugly runt of the humor family. And when used as a go-to for the easy joke, it can quickly escalate from tolerable to an alarming level of poke-your-own-eye-out annoying.
Sure, some people can totally own it. Say, a Jon Stewart or a Stephen Colbert (both of whom I obviously adore). But, for most, it's a deceivingly tricky weapon -- one that should be handled with care, one that can easily be misfired, and one that should always be followed by something pleasant to soften the blow.
Because seriously, there is a fine line between making "fun" of a person and straight up injuring one with a blunt-edged insult. It's fine when your target is your own self, but when you're poking at someone else's soft spot, it's a dangerous tool of rhetoric I prefer to keep a safety on.
The most ironic thing about this kind of sarcasm is that it always seems to come from the most insecure guys. Like the flimsy shield used to deflect from their own shortcomings. (wink, wink. jab, jab.)
Yeah, I get it, Mr. Funny Guy. And I'll dish it back all day if that's the way you want to steer this bitch. But let's just take a look at what's most likely guiding your weak attempts at wit -- and I bet it has something to do with what's lacking in your pants.
That's right, I'll say it again: you've probably got a case of tiny wang-bone.
A final word to the wise guys: don't insult your date, give her a wink and a nudge, and shrug it off like it was just a way to flirt. That's not a way to impress her, or make her think you're better than you really are, and it's definitely not a way to keep healthy conversation alive.
I mean, one shot can be funny, two might even bring a wall down, but take enough at me and I'll be aiming right back with my knee to your balls. And what kind of injury would I be giving if I didn't add the extra "just teasin" wink and a "right back atcha" finger-gun as I walk the hell out the door?
